They don't like it up 'em!

I've been asked about my law and order polices. Well, here they are.

This essay is likely to offend. My heart pumps purple piss.

Britain currently has thousands of crimes on the statute books. We actually need three. Yes, only three. Here they are:

1. Theft. Defined as depriving another person of their personal property by taking or damaging it without consent. Second degree theft (i.e. unintentional theft, for example destroying a garden wall through careless driving) will be punished as a Class 2 crime.

2. Assault. Defined as causing bodily harm to another person except in defence of one's self or one's property. This includes rape, murder and the supply of dangerous substances such as drugs. Second degree assault (i.e. unintentional assault, for example injuring a person by building a sub-standard house extension which collapses into the street) will be punished as a Class 2 crime.

3. Treason. This includes spying for a foreign country and belonging to, or giving any form of support to, an organisation which is engaged in declared or undeclared war against British interests. Treason will always be a Class 1 crime.

Only three crimes. Dead simple, eh? Well, what's even simpler is the new sentencing policy. There will only be two sentences; Class 2 and Class 1.

Class 2 (unintentional) crimes will be punished by a fixed sentence of 15 years in prison. Reduction of this sentence will only be granted for actions which demonstrably prevent further crimes by other people.

Class 1 (deliberate) crimes will be punished by execution. The sentence will be carried out by a single pistol bullet fired into the nape of the neck. This is an entirely fitting punishment for those who deliberately harm others; I really have to wonder at the motivations of those who stand up for the "rights" of convicted rapists, murderers or thieves.

My policies will result in the deaths of thousands of criminals. They will also cut crime so much you wouldn't believe it.

Your call....