Imagine: the scene is the day after the next general election, and we're all waiting to learn the outcome of the back-door horse trading, broken manifesto pledges and underhand deals that will decide who forms the government. Eventually a pair of press conferences give a deeply unsatisfactory answer. With 326 seats required for an overall majority, David Cameron has managed to bring the UKIP, Democratic Unionists (Ian Paisley's nutjob party, remember) and Plaid Cymru on side, but only has 320 seats. Ed Balls, David Millipede or some other identikit leftie clone has assembled a motley crew of Lib Dems, Greens, rebellious IRA-loving scum and Wee Eck Salmond's SNP; as the sounds of a barrel being desperately scraped die away it becomes clear that this coalition, too, has only 320 seats. The hung Parliament continues to dangle. Meanwhile, in the lounge bar of the Boot and Paki, Nick Griffin and his nine MPs sit patiently, waiting for the phone to ring...
They'd do it, wouldn't they? Oh yes, I know what they SAY; they'd never work with the BNP, extremists, affront to British values, blah blah blah. But given the choice between five more years in opposition or quietly agreeing to send
some of them back... yes, I think they'd do it.
